dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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