the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize