He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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