if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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