We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
