Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My ATM looks so different sober.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Sext me about skeletons
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
