I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
How's work?
Spinning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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