Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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