Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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