butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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