we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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