great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
