look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
