I just made out with a guy for $7.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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