ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
