I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
