Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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