some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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