Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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