After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
