did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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