i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
