How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
