I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Text me some of your sweat
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
