my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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