He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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