As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
