i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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