the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
