if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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