dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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