she looked like the before picture.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Shame - the story of my life.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
