My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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