i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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