Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
