Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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