You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize