Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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