Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
