Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The air was thick with penises
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
