I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
third nipple confirmed
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
