remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
