Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
