Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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