You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
