We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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