Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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