it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
