apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
