her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
