you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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