I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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