and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
