White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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