She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
