You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
