Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize