My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
