you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
