I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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